The Question
by likeasheep
Summary: Jack asks Ianto the most important question of his life. Written a long time ago, again taken from my dA account.
1. Part One

Part One 

"Coffee?"

It was a perfectly innocent question. That is, it would have been innocent were the person it was directed at not the leader of Torchwood Three. As it was, Captain Jack Harkness was indeed the leader, and being who he inevitably was, took it to mean something else.

"Coffee, sir?" the welshman asked again. Ianto Jones, unofficial tea boy had been the object of the majority of his Captain's affections for the past twenty-one months. He couldn't help think with the smallest and smuggest smile that it was almost twenty-two now.

Jack looked up at Ianto who stood innocently in the doorway of his office, holding Jack's favourite mug. It hadn't always been Jack's favourite mug, but it had been on one of the many occasions when Ianto had asked his question.

Again, came the question that Jack always looked forward to, "Sir, do you want any coffee?"

The Captain looked over at the tea boy, considering slowly what he saw. Ianto hadn't always been like this, and that was discounting the slowly healing cuts on his left cheek, the butterfly stitches on the gash that crossed his collar bone, and the angrily red grazes on the welshman's knuckles.

Ianto had certainly been different the first night Jack had laid eyes on him. He had been so informal. It was almost as if back then, Ianto had been trying to seduce his soon-to-be Captain. It would have worked straight away if welshman hadn't introduced himself as "Jones, Ianto Jones".

The entire 'Bond, James Bond' thing had never worked on Jack. But in hindsight, Jack couldn't help but think that it was sweet of Ianto to try and look important.

The Captain remembered looking Ianto up in the Torchwood database. It had said nothing about coffee when he'd checked.

It was only a day later that Ianto had once again tried to seduce Jack into letting him into Torchwood Three. It had been the first time Jack had heard the question as well.

The prospect of early morning coffee the day after capturing and nearly being killed by a Weevil coupled with his first look at day-time Ianto had almost been too much for Jack. However, the leader of Torchwood Three had managed to stay calm and aloof as he had accepted the coffee from Ianto. Jack had learned the hard way that Ianto's question was never innocent.

Even then, the boy had an ulterior motive, but Jack had spotted it instantly - something that he prided himself on. Fortunately or unfortunately for Jack, depending on how you looked at it, he wasn't so fast to spot the motive the next time Ianto asked the question.


	2. Part Two

Part Two

Jack couldn't complain though. After all, it was most probably entirely his fault. The changes in Ianto, Ianto's repetitive question, the way Ianto always seemed to know what to say to get to Jack.

The Captain could even remember the second time that Ianto had asked the question. Then again, it wasn't that difficult to forget.

_Ianto had been trying for the promotion for a while now, Jack reflected as he checked through some papers that Toshiko had placed on his desk for him earlier. _

_Jack had let the welshman into Torchwood Three, and personally, the Captain thought that it should have been enough. Of course, it was just his luck that Ianto decided early on that he was not content with simply keeping up Torchwood Three's false front and being tea boy. _

_Owen had in fact told Jack just the previous day that being tea boy was practically a full-time job, and that really, Ianto shouldn't need any other thing to keep him busy. _

_The doctor had finished his small complaint to Jack by saying, "And what with shagging the boss, he can't have much time at all, can he, Jack?" _

_Appropriately, Jack had sent him back to the autopsy bay to continue his work because actually, he wasn't with Ianto... yet. _

_Still, it came as no surprise to the Captain to hear the now-familiar welshman's voice. _

_"Coffee?" _

_Opening a drawer, Jack pushed the papers he had been looking at away. _

_"Coffee, sir?" _

_"Ianto, what d'you want?" Jack asked, getting to his feet as he looked over at his newest recruit. _

_"Just if you wanted any coffee, sir." _

_"Ianto, you're already holding my coffee. Why ask?" _

_"Because you might not--" _

_"You already know I do. Now, what are you after?" _

_He was holding that coffee cup ransom - Jack just knew it. It hadn't taken him long, Jack thought, for Ianto to understand how his Captain's mind worked in the mornings. First coffee, then decisions. _

_"I don't just want to be the tea boy, sir." _

_"Ianto, you aren't just the tea boy." Jack looked over at the mug of coffee in the welshman's hands longingly, "You manage our cover, and you do a good job with that, now if you'll just give me the coffee..." _

_"I want a place in Torchwood like the others have, sir. I want a place like Susannah, Toshiko and Owen have. I want to be important to the team. I want to be involved--" _

_"You want a lot of things, Ianto. Now, will you just give me my coffee?" _

_It didn't take Ianto long, but he succeeded. Second time around, and the welshman knew exactly what to do in order to manipulate his Captain. He decided, as he left Jack's office coffee-less, that perhaps he would get his way after all._


	3. Part Three

Part Three

Ianto glanced fleetingly over at his Captain who was staring vacantly into space as his mug of coffee slowly cooled in the Welshman's hands. Jack - Ianto's full-time and only lover. He wasn't sure how it had happened, but apparently, it had. The Tea Boy didn't even care that his Captain was unfaithful, that Ianto was only Jack's part-time lover - it just didn't matter when Ianto felt the way he did. He could not be sure how he came to feel for the leader of Torchwood Three, but he could clearly recall the events beforehand.

There was no possible way that he could ever forget such was the impact on Ianto's life. He had tried, but had found it impossible, so he kept the memories, and they didn't trouble him as long as he kept himself busy.

_Ianto stood quietly outside the Hub entrance as evening gradually took over the afternoon and the sky darkened to grey. Around him, everything was normal, with the people of Cardiff cheerfully going about their lives, unaware of the inner turmoil that the Welshman before them was going through. _

_He had thought long, and he had thought hard about what to do. After a while, he had come to the conclusion that coffee hostage-seduction would not work. Something so frivolous couldn't possibly work when the thing that Ianto wanted was just so terribly delicate. _

_So, he had decided that secrecy was, and would be for the remainder of this operation, the best thing to do. He had a plan, and he could do it - it wouldn't take much, and he really had no other choice. _

_Torchwood's Tea Boy reassured himself as he entered the Hub, only to see the rest of them playing a game of basketball of all things. For what, though? As Ianto stood to one side, he soon realized that this was one of their rituals to decide who would buy drinks. Yet another thing that he was left out of. Ianto - Tea Boy who would clear up everyone else's mess. _

_The match ended when one of the others dropped the ball into the basket from above, a move that Jack called cheating. Ianto couldn't remember who, but one of them had thrown the ball at him to clear away as the four of them left - Toshiko, Gwen, Owen, and Jack. They left Ianto, as always, but for once, that wasn't a bad thing. He needed time to do this - time alone. _

_He pushed the ball away somewhere before calling up the local pizza delivery service. By now, the operator was like a friend to him, the amount of times that Ianto had to phone them. He ordered ahead of time as usual for the rest of the group before hanging up the phone. It was time._

_The Welshman went to the entrance of the Hub and let in the one man who could help him...them. The one man who could make everything alright. They had decided. Ianto had to do this - it was his purpose, the entire reason he had joined Torchwood. And so, the Tea Boy let Doctor Tanizaki, specialist in cybernetics, into the Hub. _

_He could help Lisa, and then leave Torchwood. No one on the team need ever know._


	4. Part Four

Part Four

Looking back, Ianto knew that it was his actions, and his alone, that had caused the danger, the pain, and the sadness. It had taken the Welshman a while to get over it, and many of the things he remembered were, in some, if not most ways, distorted terribly. Some parts of his version of the events were accurate, but much of his memory was clouded by emotions.

Some of the things he remembered were without emotion. He could remember ordering pizza for the rest of them; he could remember the emptiness he had felt when Lisa had thrown him to one side. He had never imagined that she might turn against him, but she had, and Ianto had been left with a cold, aching hole on the inside.

He loved Lisa, and knew that a part of him always would. But as he had laid there, cold, aching and so deeply hurt, someone had pulled him. Someone had pulled the Torchwood Tea Boy up and out of the darkness that had been threatening since the start of his deception to overwhelm him; to crush him until not even his spirit was left.

Someone had breathed life into him. They had breathed light into an impossible inner darkness. Ianto had felt as if someone was lifting him up and out, forgiving his mistakes. The breath of life and light soon turned into a kiss, and when Ianto opened his eyes, he realised who the perpetrator was. The one who was saving him was the one who wanted her dead. The man whose eyes showed the pain, joy, sadness and experience of hundreds of years that seemed to be beyond the capabilities of his age.

_Ianto looked up, quite literally stunned to see that his saviour was Jack. It took him precious moments to regain movement; the man who had saved him was, to all intents and purposes, against Ianto, and he could not let anything bad happen. He loved Lisa, and he had to help her; he had to save her, whatever the cost. _

_A heart-wrenching yet electronically-distorted scream tore violently through the air, ripping through the two men, reminding each of them of their present situation. Jack, of his duty to keep the rest of his team safe; Ianto, to keep Lisa safe, just the way he had promised her, despite her rejection of him. _

_Ianto left his Captain lying on the floor. His so-called leader may have revived the Welshman, but he could not afford to stay. He could not afford to let the small act of humanity that Jack had displayed to get in the way of what he had to do. Ianto had to help Lisa, he just had to. He had to save her. Yes, she was a Cyberwoman, but that didn't matter, because he loved her, no matter what would ever happen, he loved her. To Ianto, Lisa's life was more important to him than that of each of the other team members. More important than Owen's life; more important than Gwen's life; more important than Toshiko's life; more important than his own life and safety; and far, far more important than the life of Jack Harkness. _

_When they arrived in the autopsy bay, the Welshman dropped to his knees in front of the seemingly-dead Cyberwoman, Lisa. Ianto could faintly hear Owen's apologies, but they were insignificant. They simply did not matter when Lisa was dead - Owen could never begin to apologise enough for what he had done. Lisa was dead, and it was all Owen's--_

_A shout came from Gwen as Lisa's eyes snapped open, an electronic pulse of life running through her engineered veins. Ianto backed away, fearing a slight fear as the Lisa he had known looked at him with a primitive desire to kill, updated to a technological desire to delete. He would never hurt her, he loved her. _

_"Ianto! Move! Get out, Ianto!" it was Gwen as she pushed Ianto to one side. Ianto stayed, staring, transfixed with a fear that he had never felt - he had never had a reason to fear the one he had loved, but now, he wasn't so-- _

_"Get out, I said! Move!" the Welshwoman pushed him forwards, away from Lisa, "Move!" _

_The three of them fled up the stairs and towards the main Hub, Gwen spurring Ianto onwards, who continually glanced behind them at Lisa who was up, and making her way slowly towards them. She gained speed until she was blocking their only exit; the one way out, and there was no way through without the pain of certain death. _

_Then Jack came - ever the hero, Ianto couldn't help but think bitterly as he looked between his Captain, and the Cyberwoman that he loved. _

_"You should be dead!" Owen shouted over at Jack who smiled twistedly. _

_"I," he said, brandishing what looked like a blow-torch, and a bottle of condiments of some sort, "am the stubborn type. Now, get behind me." _

_Gwen took Ianto's arm and steered him away from the Cyberwoman who threatened each of their lives. But Ianto couldn't let this go; another try, that might be all it needed, "Jack!" the Welshman cried out. It was a harsh sound, a sob mixed with a primal scream, "Help her! Give her the chance to surrender! It's still in the cells - we can reverse the process." _

_"Hold him back." Jack said, ignoring Ianto's pleads for his help as Gwen and Owen took a hold of Ianto's arms and dragged him back onto the 'invisible' lift. _

_Then, Jack did the most absurd thing that left Ianto, Gwen and Owen confused, and unsure of what was going on. He squirted the contents of the condiments bottle - later identified as barbecue sauce - over Lisa before stepping back onto the lift platform himself. _

_He looked at Ianto, almost seeming to be sincere as he spoke the words; "I'm sorry." _

_It was then that Ianto realised what was happening, and the same, primal sob escaped him again as he tried to pull away from the firm grips of Owen and Gwen. How could Jack do this to him? How could he use everything against him?_


	5. Part Five

Part Five

Jack had used something against Ianto that day. In fact, Jack had used several things against the Tea Boy. The Captain had used the very thing that had made the leader of Torchwood Three accept the Welshman in the first place. Another weapon that Jack had used against Ianto had been the Tea Boy's very humanity.

Jack seemed not to show as much interest in Ianto as he did in the others; he had never even seemed to show any, in fact. But somehow, the Captain had known the Welshman better than Ianto knew himself. Ianto's Captain had known the young man for better than even Lisa had ever known him. Jack had known all along that the humanity, that would always be with Ianto, would triumph over his inner darkness.

Of course, Jack had been right, and in the end, Ianto's fear and the small sense of loyalty that he felt towards his leader had almost won out when the Welshman had attempted to shoot Lisa.

_But Ianto couldn't hurt her, for a different sort of humanity that rendered him useless; unable to kill the woman he loved in cold blood - no matter how distorted and inhumane Lisa's personality had become. _

_For the second time that evening, Jack had saved Ianto. This time, however, the Captain had saved the Tea Boy a potential 'upgrade' into becoming a Cyberman. An unthinkable process filled with only pain and madness. _

_Ianto had called Jack the worst sort of monster only moments previous; he had promised Jack that if he ever had the chance to save his Captain, he would simply watch him die. Something puzzled Ianto for the rest of his life, and he didn't think that he would ever understand. Despite all the things Ianto had said; all the things Ianto had done; Jack had saved him. _

_Ianto mourned the loss of Lisa, sobbing tears of pain and anguish; sobbing tears of his loss; crying for the very fact and the thanks that he had been saved. The simple Tea Boy had been forgiven. _

_When Ianto had finally recovered from his grave loss, he entered the main Hub. Above him, leaning on the railings, his office behind him, stood Jack. The Captain nodded down to the Welshman. It was, in Jack's own way, a complete confirmation that Torchwood's Tea Boy had been forgiven for his humanity. Ianto nodded back 0 he had understood, and he was sorry. _

_The rest of the team watched this brief exchange, puzzled at what they saw. Was Ianto forgiven? It was the question that whirl winded through the minds of the rest of the team's heads. He must have been, was the collective decision made by the rest of the team as Ianto went around, cleaning up his own mess rather than the others' for once. _

_As Jack watched the Tea Boy clean up, he wondered vaguely if Ianto had, subconsciously, wanted to clear up his own so-called shit for once. He forgave him, grudgingly, because Jack understood what it felt like to be blinded by a passion for the things he cared about when what he had to do was duty. It had been a long time ago, when he had first joined the Torchwood Institute and had tried to go against the deputy leader after she had shot a young alien. But a Cyberwoman was different; she was malevolent; bent on destruction, pain and suffering - the Cyberman's ideal world. But he forgave Ianto because he knew how hard it would be for the Welshman later on in life. _

_It was almost odd in many ways as Ianto slowly but surely became a part of the team. It was odd in the eyes of Gwen and Toshiko, who couldn't understand why Jack was even allowing Ianto to stay. Why did the Captain not simply wipe Ianto's memory and send him on his way? _

_Owen thought he knew the reason why the Captain let the Tea Boy stay and become more involved; the Welshman was obviously the American's easy shag - there was no doubt about it. _

_Owen was wrong, but he still used his theory as an insult to Ianto when need be. Owen always told the Welshman at every possibly moment - Ianto was only there and becoming more integrated into the team because he was just Jack's 'bit on the side'. _

_The Tea Boy took no notice. After all, it wasn't true. In some ways, Ianto owed his very life, and now his absolute loyalty to Jack. The Welshman's life had been saved so many times now by Jack; even when he had not wanted saving. _

_Ianto didn't even really understand why Owen thought what he thought, but he apparently did. Ianto's Captain had only kissed him fleetingly to bring him out of the darkness. _

_It had not been a kiss of lust. Ianto was fairly certain of that. He just couldn't be Jack's latest attraction. He just couldn't be; could he?_


	6. Part Six

Part Six

It was then that Ianto realized that both he and Jack had been perfectly still and silent for the past hour or so. As the Welshman looked down at his Captain's now-cold coffee, he wondered vaguely what Jack had been thinking.

In truth, other than thinking about the past year or so, Jack had been wondering about his apparent relationship with Ianto.

He wondered in silence as he jotted down the wrong answer to his crossword. He wondered why the Welshman put up with him. It really didn't make sense, but Jack realized as he turned to look at Ianto, that he was lucky.

The American would never tell the Tea Boy his thoughts, of course. The Captain would never tell anyone. But he truly was lucky, Jack reflected as he wrote 'IANTOISGAY' in seventeen-down, leaving three spaces blank. So, for good measure, he added 'HA!'.

Jack was lucky because Ianto put up with all the shit that his Captain gave him. Romance truly wad dead in their relationship, as far as Jack knew, but that was just fine with him. In fact, he reflected as he watched the Welshman watching him, it really was a miracle that the two of them were still together in some shape or form.

After all, it seemed that the Captain was sticking his tongue down a new person's throat every other day. And, in hindsight, it was probably Jack's fault that Ianto had almost died so many times.

Eventually, after pushing his crossword under his pile of actual paperwork that he always avoided, Jack got to his feet. He had decided to test a theory of his as he leant against his desk.

"Ianto?"

"Yes, Captain?" the Welshman asked, placing the cold coffee mug down.

"Quite a while ago, Ianto, you asked if I would ever want to go back." Jack said, holding his arms close to his body as he looked up at the ceiling, avoiding eye-contact.

Ianto nodded, but said nothing; where was Jack going with this?

"If I did go back..." Jack paused, unsure of how to continue for once. Eventually, he carried on, "Ianto, if I did decide to go back, would you care?"

He received an uncertain nod from the Tea Boy.

So, Jack continued, "And more importantly, Mr. Jones, if I did leave, would you go with me?"

Ianto didn't answer as he looked down at his now-very interesting shoes. What was it, he wondered, that Jack was asking him? Was he actually planning on going back? And if he was, should Ianto go with him? Would it work? Would they manage?

Finally, he realized that he couldn't put off his answer or his realization any longer.

"No." he replied simply.

"Why not?" Jack asked sharply as he turned to look at Ianto. Had he just been rejected by a Tea Boy? How was that even possible?

"There wouldn't be room for a trivial Tea Boy that no one really wants around in your future, Jack."

"Ianto, that's not--"

"True? Captain Harkness, I think you'll find that it is." the Welshman said as he picked up the coffee mug.

"Ianto, it's not--"

"I'll go and warm your coffee, sir." Ianto interrupted as he left the office. It was enough that Ianto had come to this realization, but for Jack to try and deny him that only made everything worse.

There simply was, and never would be, any room for Ianto in the long and seemingly endless life of Captain Jack Harkness.


End file.
